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EXT. LINE – SPECTRUM – NIGHT
RED STANCHIONS guide the crowded line of young adults waiting to enter the SPECTRUM NIGHT CLUB.
At the front of the line stands the bouncer, ROY GARCIA (30s), granting or rejecting entrance inside the club.
A young college student, DREW (21), stands in front of Roy.
DREW
How's it going man?
ROY GARCIA
ID?
Drew pulls out his ID and gives it to Roy.
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Highlight any action line and choose how to refine it. Tighten it, add detail, or tell us your intention. A suggestion, not a rewrite. You are in control.
EXT. LINE – SPECTRUM – NIGHT
RED STANCHIONS guide the crowded line of young adults waiting to enter the SPECTRUM NIGHT CLUB.
At the front stands ROY GARCIA (30s).
Scripty suggests
RED STANCHIONS direct a line of young adults at the SPECTRUM NIGHT CLUB entrance.
EXT. LINE – SPECTRUM – NIGHT
RED STANCHIONS guide the crowded line of young adults waiting to enter the SPECTRUM NIGHT CLUB.
At the front of the line stands the bouncer, ROY GARCIA (30s), granting or rejecting entrance inside the club.
DREW (21) stands before him.
DREW
How's it going?
Flags2
Readability
Action line too long.
Formatting
Character intro is verbose.
Spelling
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Focus on the story. Well→ We'll keep an eye on the rest. No interruptions. You decide what to fix and when.
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